I wish I did not have this strange ability... Now I realize how mutants feel...
My ability to read a person's emotion like a story book, what that person is thinking, if the person is connected to reality...
It is frightening.... to me.. and my frenz.... I guess who would like a person who could probe into their feelings as though it was glass box?
Haiz.... Depression setting in... I'm now eating this strange white pill to supress my emotions... Why do I like my class so much?... Its because... their feelings are rarely fake.. unlike many others from the other classes...
But.. back to my strange ability.... Its causing me my friendship... Its causing me my sanity... and.... its breaking my heart too....
Redicule, laughter, mockery.... why do I see it so often... and... why do people's eyes show distaste at the people that they are so close to?....
My eyes see through people... thats why my parents are so afraid of me looking into their eyes directly... thats why I got the place as chairperson... and... thats why exs break up with me....
Sobz.... I cant help telling people that I know what they are thinking... and I guess it scares them as much as it scares me.... I get so happy when a person beams at me from his or her heart... but... when a person tries to supress his or her emotions because he does not want to hurt me... I just feel lonelier then ever before...
The chinese have a saying "The eyes are the windows to a person's heart"... and... i guess its true in my case... as i have to look directly into the person's eyes to feel their emotions...
Yes... i admit... I do like Timothy.... but I am trying... very very very hard to change it into brotherhood....... because I know he will never condone to my actions... Its so hard to face the world... and yet... I dont want to lose it....
My heart reels in pain over and over again... as I look into people's minds.... people tell me that the world is a beautiful place...
I try to believe it.... but sometimes... the evidence is not there....
I look through the world through the eyes of a person who has experianced every emotion that there is to experiance... Who have spat at the face of fate... and stepped on the thread of life over and over again.. barely breaking it...
Look through my eyes... who is able to withstand my conflux of emotions and memories that corses through my body....
If you're reading this blog timothy.... I promise I will try my best to treat you like a brother from now on... the problem is... i dunno how to treat a person like my brother...
I guess I shouldnt have told you certain things that you did not like to hear....
Pain.... my heart aches as I try to tear away emotions that cling to it... it is so pain.... sobz....
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